Paying Etiquette: Who Picks Up the Check on a Date?

Men and women are seen as equal, in fact, many women earn more than men but how does that play into the equation when it comes to paying for the check on a date? Follow the rules below to gain an insight into what is right and what could be wrong!

You ask her on a date

If you invite her out on a date, then this should be a simple one – you pay. If you make the move and ask her out, the check will become your responsibility and as a ‘man’, you should be expected to put your hand in your pocket because you want to treat her well and make her feel good. It also shows your intentions and that means that she will know that you are into her!

What if she offers to pay her share?

This is a tricky one, especially if she offers to pay her part of the check as she is reaching for her purse. She may be doing this out of courtesy and it might be her way of showing that she does not expect you to pay for her but this is your chance to assert yourself a little. Tell her to put her purse away and that you have enjoyed being with her.

What if she continues to offer?

This is where it can become awkward because she may not accept your willingness to pay. If she persists, then you need to let her show your understanding side by allowing her to pay. She might want to pay as a way of showing that she can look after herself or perhaps she does not want to feel like she is taking advantage of you. By allowing her to pay, you are actually doing
a good thing!

She asks you on a date

Now, this is where it can become very tricky. If she asked you, then you shouldn’t feel as obliged to pay as you would if you asked her and so, this where you should split the check. Of course, you could offer to pay for and show that you are the gentleman and it would send a really clear message – you are into her!

If it’s a casual date

Often, dates are not always serious and take a more casual approach such as lazy drinks in a bar or an easy coffee. If it is the laid back approach who pays? Well, it is still you but you might often find that you do end up sharing because you might buy one round of drinks and she might get the next round. A casual date is not as complicated because the messages you are sending are slightly different when compared to a formal date.
Dating can be complicated when it comes to who pays the check. There are some hard rules to stick to and some unwritten rules that are more historical than others. However, this is 2018 and times have changed meaning that the person who pays the bill is slightly more complicated…or is it?!