When to Have Sex When Dating

For many, sex is a daunting prospect when dating as there are so many things that could go wrong; you end-up offending your date or mess-up the timing so much that you never see them again. We understand how difficult it is to decide the right time to commit to one another intimately and how it differs depending on your gender too. We go over when it may be the best time to consider sex and why it can be best to wait before being intimate with your date.

Women Vs Men

I wanted to address the difference between men and women first before continuing the discussion on the best time to have sex. Undoubtedly, men and women approach sex different – although there are exceptions to the rule – so it is good to know how each gender typically responds to sex when they’re dating.

Women tend to be more attracted to men and more willing to have sex once they have built up a stronger emotional connection with him. Furthermore, many women use sex as a way to express their love towards their man which may be why many women prefer to wait longer for sex than men do.

Men, on the other hand, tend to favor a more physical approach to sex and know whether they want to be intimate with a woman or not based on physical attraction. For men, sex is a very physical thing but that doesn’t mean they can’t form bonds through that intimacy or be completely emotionally enthralled by the woman they’re dating.

When is the Right Time to Have Sex?

To get this out of the way, there is an element of knowing when the time is right or not. Sometimes the mood does just take you and you and your partner both know that it is time to take your relationship to the next level. However, there are undoubtedly moments in your dating life where this isn’t the case and you need to be able to time your advances appropriately as waiting too long or coming in too hot can have disastrous consequences.

So, why did we talk about men and women’s attitudes towards sex? Well, simply put, it is because women, most of the time, can have sex when they want to. It is more likely that their male counterpart will be ready before them and that they’re the ones with the final say. This is not always the case but for many people, this is how moving towards sex works for people who’re dating. Women have the luxury of not worrying when to hint towards sex as it is, most of the time, already on the table for them. That is why the next portion of this article will be more male-centric.

Evidently, if you’re trying to build a connection with a woman then having sex on the first date or early-on can be problematic. Sometimes relationships can build even if you have sex early on, but it is more likely to become a passing fling than anything serious. However, waiting too long will make your date think that you don’t desire her, so there is a delicate balancing act required when thinking about having sex for the first time. The easiest way to know when the time is right is to garner whether she is ready or not. Take the time to understand her flirting techniques and subtle hints she may be dropping and go from there. If she wants you to stay longer on a date or seems to be making more intimate contact than normal, then it may indicate that she is ready to take your relationship to the next level.

The Implications of Having Sex Too Soon

We mentioned the issues with having sex too soon in the previous paragraph, but it bears mentioning in more depth. Firstly, when we say, ‘having sex too soon’, we’re talking about a first date situation or very early on in your dating relationship when you barely know one another. Some of the problems associated with having sex too soon are:

Stop Yourself from Seeing Them Again

Whether by your choice or theirs, having sex too soon can mean that you end up not seeing one another again. This can be especially devastating if you felt you had a connection with the other person and wanted to see where things would go.

The Question of Exclusivity

Perhaps you’re not the type of person who gets jealous easily and this may not affect you, but many people have probably felt this if they’ve gotten intimate with someone early on. If you’re dating, then the likelihood is that they’re meeting other people besides you too. You can become attached to your date after having sex and must deal with not being exclusive as it is too early to tell whether the relationship will go any further.

Emotional Rollercoaster

Sleeping with someone for the first time is a big thing and either you or your date can react badly if things turn sour. You can become attached easily, start becoming clingy and want to push to have an exclusive relationship without knowing them well. Any of these scenarios can send your emotional healthy spiraling and ruin your dating experience.

Knowing when to have sex when dating is all down to intuition and ensuring you’re considerate of the other person and their desires too. Perhaps there is never the perfect time where everything falls into place, but you can make the best of it as long as you focus on your partner’s needs and take things as they come. Understand that everyone views sex differently, so you need to be cautious when approaching the subject with someone you’re dating.